I love my PSP, or as she is more commonly known, Jessica. I'm not ashamed to admit it.
Over the years, I've owned and/or played a lot of different game systems. Atari 2600, Commodore 64, Intellivision, Colecovision, TRS-80, Sega Master System, NES, Amiga, Lynx, TG-16, Game Boy, Genesis, Game Gear, SNES, N64, Game Boy Color, Playstation, Dreamcast, Playstation 2, Game Boy Advance, Gamecube, Xbox, DS, PSP, Xbox 360, Wii. Add to that list many different computers- from my first experiences on a glowing green Apple IIe to my current Dell.
I loved them all, in one way or another. Some fleetingly- maybe only for a single game, and some I've loved hard, Nintendos and Gameboys in particular. Some I've demolished in fits of rage- oh, will you ever forgive me Master System? And some I've cherished so lovingly as to be ridiculously careful, like my current love, Jessica, whom I keep encased in a padded metal carrying case.
Once, I was a diehard
Nintendo loyalist, or 'Fanboy', if you will, but with the advent of the slim PS2, I ducked out on my Gamecube and took a vacation with a sleek, sexy, second gen
Sony. I was hooked. Soon, my lovingly decaled 'Cube was relegated to late night booty calls, when I itched for bouts of Super Smash Brothers Melee or Resident Evil 4. I spent most of my time with my new beau, playing Grand Theft Auto, Mercenaries, or Star Ocean.
I loved Nintendo, but Sony just had so much more to offer. That is what led me to Jessica. I'm no stranger to portable games- I've owned every incarnation of Gameboy to date, including a DS. At first, I thought the PSP was just too big. "How could that ever fit in a pocket?", I remember thinking. And then, one day, on my favourite videogame news site,
ign.com, I ran across a few pictures of future game/culture writer
Jessica Chobot, licking a PSP. She was quoted at the time saying that the PSP was the sexiest thing around.
I instantly agreed, and threw all my previous doubts out the window. I arrived at
EB Games, my favourite place to buy games, and threw down nearly six hundred bucks for a PSP, 4 games, and the extended warranty(the only time I've ever bought an extended warranty). Now, that may seem like a lot of money to some people, but I've spent more on consoles before- (Gamecube and Slim PS2) and this PSP would be worth it, I could just feel it.
I guess I was suckered in by the photos, which coincedentally were not paid for by Sony in any way- but I just had to have one. Once I had my new PSP in my hands, I couldn't help but fall in love. It truly is a beautiful piece of electronics. The screen is so much bigger, sharper and brighter than any other handheld ever to come before. The finish on front of the system is smooth, shiny black, and the clear buttons on the face and shoulders are simply gorgeous.
Before I even left the store, I'd decided to name my PSP- something I've never done with any of my other game systems. As stated earlier, I christened her Jessica, based mostly on Ms. Chobot, but also taking into account several other famous Jessicas- Alba, Biel, Simpson... It became(for a time) my default name for a sexy woman.
When I got home, I hurriedly began the process of charging the battery, being very careful not to turn on the system until it was fully charged. When she was ready, I booted up the first game, Lumines. Instantly I was enthralled by the colours, the addictive gameplay and the pulsing techno beats. (If you've never played it before, give it a whirl- you can't be disappointed)
I began to bring my love, my Jessica, everywhere. I bought several more games, and after a time, began exploring the options this perfect game system allowed. Wi-fi, downloadable content, UMD(the psp discs) movies, MP3 playback, and soon, customizable backgrounds and colour combinations for the XMB- the 'operating system' of the PSP. With the advent of this update, I hurried to my computer and fixed myself a 'desktop background' for my beloved PSP. Now, my photoshop skills are padawan at best, but I managed to come up with an image I could be proud to leave on my PSP for all time.
When I first got to know my beautiful and loving wife, Lani, we were out at the lake with a mutual friend- and I was amazed at how much she took to Jessica, and Lumines in particular. Though she rolled her eyes pretty hard when she found out I'd named Jessica after some broad I read about on the internet(which is a common reaction), we got along really well and began dating later that summer.
Things progressed pretty steadily with Lani and Jessica for a few years; I bought and traded many games, oh, Lani and I also got married, too. Now, in the last year and a half, with the growing needs of my son, Ajax, I've had a dramatic decrease in funds relating to video games. I resigned myself to a new game every three or four months- which to me was a huge blow, as I'd been feeding my low-grade videogame addiction multiple times a month for many, many years.
Then, one day last summer at work, an angel appeared to me. It manifested in the form of my awesome co-worker, Julie. She leant unto me her PSP, which had been, *gasp*, hacked.
My whole world changed. It was like Jessica had been keeping a secret from me. She'd been whispering to me for such a long time about the dangers of hacking, and the utter finality of 'bricking' a PSP- where the system is rendered inoperable by tampering with the system software. Undaunted, I began my quest to unravel the mysteries of 'custom firmware'.
After many hours of research, and painstaking trial and error, I finally threw open the gates of my PSP, unlocking the most powerful game system ever, in the history of man. Now, I play emulated games- NES, SNES, Game Boy Advance, Sega Master System on my PSP, as well as homemade(or homebrew as it's known) games and games that I've bought as well. Best of all, I can now download copies of full games off the internet, and Jessica plays them without any problems, limited only by the free space on her memory stick. I have seen the light- and truly, it is the PSP.
I love my wife(I'm sure she's rolling her eyes as she reads this post) and son, but coming in a close third is Jessica. I love you, girlfriend!
